The Classroom

I believe that the moment you almost forget what you really want, someone crossing your path will remind you of what you were meant to do in the first place. It's up to yourself to be open to it and, if you really want to, do something with it.

About one and a half year ago I spoke to Jeanmarie in his classroom. Jeanmarie lives in an old high school where the classrooms are rented out for people to live in. I think it's funny how someone that has inspired me to follow my heart after I'd stopped studying, ends up living in an old school, so every time I visit him we're sitting in a classroom.

I was sitting in his most comfortable chair, which he always offers me, and we were talking about what was going on in our lives. Ever since I worked with him nine years ago we always kept in touch and we developed a good friendship. 

As I was sprawling in his comfortable chair, he casually mentioned his excitement about the fact that he was going to tour in China. As I heard him saying it, I instantly got this romantic vision of him traveling through Chinese cities and mountain villages with the Dwarf performance. I was sitting up straight within half a second and it felt like every cell in my body woke up from a long period of hibernation.

"Maybe I could come with you?!" I said.

I probably used the words 'maybe' and 'could' out of some form of politeness, because internally I said to myself: "This is it! This is what you've been waiting for! If you don't go now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life..."

I've been wanting to make a documentary portrait of Jeanmarie ever since I started working as a freelancer in film. But from the moment this wish declared itself to my heart I came up with all these rational reasons why it wouldn't be possible: It would cost too much money, I don't have the right camera, I don't have time,  I don't have enough experience and this list could go on for miles. They all seem legitimate reasons, but they were in fact all rationalizations born out of fear: What if I'm not good enough? What if I will fail? And then what would I be if I would fail at my attempt of achieving my dream?

What actually happened in that classroom was that my burning desire, which I had rationalized into a dozing pilot light, was ignited by the fact that Jeanmarie told me that he was going to perform in China. Right there and then my dream was so furiously sparked that not one rational thought could have stopped me from the idea that I was going to China to film it. 

Even though sometimes I'm really scared that this film will turn out to be my biggest failure - I'm investing a lot of time and money in it with no guarantees on returns whatsoever and in the past year I've had nights that I truly couldn't sleep from anxiety - I take a lot of comfort in the fact that all the people involved in this journey took similar kind of risks. Creating a chain of decisions that are as beautiful as they are irrational. Starting seven years ago with Tim, Jeanmarie's son, who made a similar instantaneous decision to immigrate to China…

Claim to fame

I figured it is time to tell you a little bit about myself and how I got into the business of film making. This is by no means an ordinary story, so enjoy!

After dropping out of university for the second time, I decided it was time to follow my dream and try something else:

I was going to be famous!  The whole world would love me unconditionally and I would get lots and lots of girls. People would chant my name in the streets whilst smiling and crying tears of joy, because they'd caught a glimpse of me in real life. "Ben Reisman! Ben Reisman! We love you!! One picture...please!! Oh thank you, you're my hero!"

Ok, maybe I got carried away a bit, but to be honest I came pretty close. Because on the 17th of August in the year 2007 I became the first and - as far as I know - only Dutch Office Chair Racing Champion in the history of man kind! Quite an achievement and of course my defining moment up until today. :)
If you're interested to see how it went watch the video below. (If you're short on time: the good stuff starts around 3:10 - also make sure you watch the intro)

You can imagine how proud my parents must have been....
I was able to experience this unprecedented heroic moment because I was part of a talent program at a dutch broadcasting company called BNN. Here we learnt how to make television for a young audience and one of the formats we came up with was that I had to become Dutch champion in something...in anything really.
To achieve this goal I participated in all different kinds of weird championships. Also worth mentioning is my proud third place in the Dutch Championships Air Guitar where I performed Red Hot Chili Peppers in a packed Paradiso. I've uploaded all the episodes on my youtube-account for those interested.

Paradiso

Me playing air guitar

As you can imagine I really had a blast and besides that I learnt a lot about making television.
But of course as happens to most people I got older and with that much more boring. Besides, I got way too fat for the orange leotard. I decided I wanted to make stuff that really meant something.  The dream of becoming famous was replaced by the dream of becoming a documentary maker...


....and famous :)

Step 1: How to find a Dwarf

So how do you find a European theatre performer who plays a Dwarf in rural China and on top of that agrees to having it all filmed? I guess you could probably try and Google it, but I wouldn't know where you would end up when doing so. Might be interesting to give it a try though :)

But that's not how it went. This Dwarf isn't just any Dwarf. This Dwarf is special, and more importantly: the person who performs the Dwarf, Jeanmarie Bevort, is one of the most inspiring people I've met in my life.

Jeanmarie Bevort

I met him nine years ago when my life wasn't looking as bright as it does now. After high school I had started studying history. A year later I'd quit my study because I couldn't stand the idea of reading books and making group assignments for three years in a row.

Cartoon by David Horsey

Some might argue that I chose the easy way out, but to quit my study wasn't an easy decision. Almost everyone I knew told me it was a stupid idea, or that I at least should start another study. I decided to be stubborn, follow my gut feeling and quit studying anyway. At first they turned out to be right. 

To earn my rent I had to do a job at a call-center. I was sitting in a cubicle for 40 hours a week, earning minimum wage just to be able to make ends meet. It seemed completely pointless to me and to be honest I couldn't have felt more depressed.

But as I often experienced throughout my life, life can be incredibly generous when you follow your gut feeling in stead of other people's fears. Because at this all-time low in my life I "coincidentally" got a call from one of my mates, that his father needed an assistant for his theatre performance. I had never met him but seeing the circumstances it sounded like a great plan.

At the time I had no idea what I was in for but it turned out to be a great adventure, with some great life lessons along the way. Lessons you can't learn at University.

Kick off

Exactly one year ago I experienced one of the most profound moments in my life. During a theater performance of a dwarf in a small Chinese mountain town my heart suddenly opened up like a vast lake breaking through a dam. A sense of joy and meaning I had never felt before flooded to regions of my soul that I never knew existed. Today I realize it had everything to do with golden eggs and hatching them. For in that sunny moment, a few deeply cherished wishes finally came through.

It is hard to describe exactly how it felt or what it meant. Luckily, I can hide behind the fact that words don’t always do justice to explain certain occurences. Moreover, we were filming everything because I was working on my first documentary. Something I dreamt of doing for years and was now finally my reality.
In a way this moment felt like a finish line and a kick off at the same time. Therefore, it seems to me that today is the right day to finish keeping my mouth shut and kicking off my endeavor of making this film by sharing my progress and contemplations with you.

So if you're interested in following why I'm making this film and how it will come about, please feel free to subscribe to this blog at the top right corner of this page or like the Facebook-page.